This Is A Real Japanese Game Show

the spinning platforms contest
the slimy slope contest
the treadmill climb-'n'-jump contest
the lotion spin contest
the spider-wall contest
the treadmill-'n'-hurdles contest

There are probably other contests unless all six of these come from the same episode of a one-time special. Which could be likely given the paucity of other contests :( , but I also want to very much doubt it given the audience's enthusiasm for the man dressed as C-3PO and the fact that his bit seems more like a running gag for a long-running television series than it does for a 30-minute or 60-minute televised special. But even if this is the only episode they ever made of this, all I have to say is, this is what I want to see more of, America! It is a beautiful fusion of the best elements from reality TV and TV game shows. It is admittedly senseless entertainment, but not everything has to be high-brow humor.

The real strength of a series like this, however, is that it's purely positive. What I mean is, you never feel any anger towards any of the contestants because they don't stick around long enough to annoy you, they don't get an opportunity to say anything that might upset you, etc. The time between when they step out onto the first platform and when they're cooling themselves down in the ice bath is less than 60 seconds. This stands in stark contrast with the negative energy which most other reality television shows foster in you. For example, my mother and sister always talk about how much they hate such-and-such jerk on Survivor, and I catch myself doing that too if I ever watch a reality TV show with them, but you'd never hear somebody say that about a game show like the one I've just shown you.

On the other hand (the gaming television hand), this series is much more entertaining than Wheel of Fortune, much more accessible than Jeopardy!, and much faster-paced than the commercial break-fests that are modern American game show programming (like Deal or No Deal). In fact, Deal or No Deal -- to me -- is the epitome of mindless BLAAAAAAAAAAAAH entertainment. You are watching someone pick from amongst 26 or so suitcases, each of which corresponds to a card on a giant display screen, and this boring process does not end until the person either decides to quit or else reaches the very last case. The process can take upwards of one hour, depending on the contestant, and in the meantime it is punctuated by 2-minute commercial breaks and adjacent 1-minute Deal or No Deal play-at-home commercials roughly every 10 real-world minutes. It gets very old very fast. It is amazing that a show so simple would need so much commercial advertising -- then one remembers that they are "risking" giving away $1,000,000 (yeah fucking right ; if Deal or No Deal isn't staged then I'm the Queen of England) .

Anyway, enough about ripping into American programming. My original point was this: the links I've shown you are what a true Japanese game show is all about. This will come as a surprise to those of you who watched ABC's made-for-American-TV Japanese game show Maji De on the ABC program "I Survived a Japanese Game Show". My friends and family who watched this (I never saw a single minute of it, though I had wanted to!) all tell me that the show involved a lot of melodrama and was half-game show half-Survivor. All I can say is, if that's true, then it wasn't a real Japanese game show. The links I've shown you are, drag queen host and all. :p