Comedy Wars: Engrish

Jay's been posting some humorous images and links lately. But can he outdo the Arizona Nightwatch? Trained in the ways of old school Internet comedy by Kramedoggimus Maximus and the bennyficent Deutschluchadore known only as "Home Skillet," Arizona Nightwatch is about to bring Jay into a world of pain! OF STITCHES-IN-YOUR-SIDES PAIN FROM LAUGHTER! IT'S ON, BITCH! ;D (I'm joking, I'm joking .......... ? ;))

Entry #1: Adult Engrish from www.engrish.com
Meal Enhancement
Fuckin' Goblin
Stop, Bambi! Stop! Please!
Japan's favorite snack stick
Bitch in Training
Best. Grandpa. Ever.
We be spendin' most our lives livin' in the sandbox paradise
a classic inherited from Matt, Ben, and Sean
ditto
Happy birthday, honey!

Entry #2: Non-Adult Engrish from www.engrish.com
"Hot dogs, anyone?"
"No, not an automated teller machine ..."
Show the world your true colors!
I'd keep my distance if I were you ...
British hockey teams don't just talk shit ...
"Good Tastes", sir?
"Dem bastehds!"
"Mi casa es su casa," huh? If you insist!
Nike slogan reject #3682
Don't Feed The Animals
Nothing says "Merry Christmas" to a gay guy like ...
Oh God. D: Oh God no. D:
one of Ryan's oldies, fell in love with this one at Caltech back in 2004!
genital layout
Just ... wow.
The only time George Carlin ever washed his hands
"Dude, what the hell's your problem?"
"It's still good! It's still good!" says Homer the Hotel Concierge
great Hannukah present for Mike, Jay!
the origin of all things Engrish
So would you please be quiet already?
I knew we shouldn't have let that general from Dr. Strangelove head up our Marketing & Sales division!
Can you dig it?
Not so much "Only in Japan" as "Never in America."
a sport she can really sink her teeth into (lol, no apologies for this horrible joke ;p)
"You all laughed at me when I said we needed an English spellchecker for our Japanese-only broadcast, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! And now look what you've done!"
an oldie but a goodie
ditto
ditto
ditto
the king of oldies but goodies, one of Matt's all-time favorites
one of my all-time, all-time, all-time favorites

I envision the delivery to that last one as a loud, nervous, throaty-voiced "I DIDN'T DO IT! [1 second pause] NOBODY SAW ME DO IT! [1.5 second pause] I WANT TO SPEAK TO MY GRANDMA!" with the last sentence said the way Hollywood actors always say the line "I WANT TO SPEAK TO MY LAWYER!" :)