Papa Chan's

(title intended to be a pun off of Papa John's and Papa Murphy's)

I was surprised to discover that we got out of school early today at 11:30am. So I decided to go get Chinese for lunch since a) it's cheaper than dinner and b) I'd been meaning to but had not treated myself to Chinese for over 2 weeks. So away I went. When I got there, I helped myself to some pork fried rice. And do you want to know what was in the pork fried rice?

Bits of shredded, uncooked pepperoni.

I kid you not. This, America, is why you are so goddamned fat. And yes, I can say that despite eating at a Chinese restaurant: because all I had was two spoons of pork & onions, one spoon of the fried rice, five cubes of melon, two tablespoons of cottage cheese, and water. Unhealthy? Yes. Fattening? Yes. Fried chicken wings, slices of pizza, and now goddamned pepperoni in my fried rice? No. Or rather, no, not intentionally.

I am hoping that it is a short-lived experiment. If I go back next month and see pepperoni in the fried rice, I'm scratching this restaurant off my list.

EDIT: lmfao, but I originally typed "two spoons of porn & onions"